Little Bits

“The first and worst of all frauds is to cheat one’s self.” Pearl Bailey

“This above all: to thine own self be true.” William Shakespeare

These are familiar sayings that we often recall when we are making a decision. We try and find our core which we believe will speak to us and provide us guidance as to a decision.

But does our ‘core’ change? Do experiences change who we are and therefore how we might decide? We are rehabbing a 200 year old home. As we work on the house, I often wonder how the house was originally arranged.  The internal walls have changed many times. Even the external walls have been altered in a few places. But the ‘core footprint’ has remained the same.

Perhaps it is that way with people. The basic core of who we are-kind, compassionate, thoughtful, truthful-remains unaltered as we journey through our lives. Yet, some have experienced hardships and become bitter, cynical, and even hateful. How does that happen? To which self are we to be true. The one pre-hardship? The innocent and naive person? Sometimes I mourn the loss of my innocence and naiveté. Or the new core honed by hardship? Honing can provide new skills-patience, perseverance and tolerance.

Truth, as we understand it, is also tricky. What we once knew-with so much certainty that lives were taken for questioning the truth (such as the world is flat, the sun revolved around the earth…many individuals were  tortured who dared to question that truth of the day). As we grow, learn, and explore our life we may alter our perspective. Is that being a fraud to ourselves? or is that becoming new and fresh again?

“I am a fraud. I have cobbled together my personality from hundreds of little bits. I am simultaneously the most genuine and the most artificial person you will ever meet.”  Sebastian Horsley

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/fraud/

 

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Mindful Journeys

“Sometimes a journey takes us to a place we have never been before. That place may not be on a map. It may be in our hearts.” Faye Hager

Recently, I have discovered a new type of journey. It does not involve going to a physical destination. I may not even move from my spot where I am standing. Actually, I may be pacing, or I may be rocking-I seldom just stand. It is an emotional journey. I believe emotions are linked to our minds, so it is a mental/spiritual/emotional journey. And that adventure all takes place deep inside of me: me-myself-and I. We have to find our way through it.

I wish I could tell you THE magic formula. I can’t. But I can share some things that help me move from:

anger—-to forgiveness

sadness—to hope

grief—-to acceptance

A book can be written on the process-and may be…perhaps I will call it the “Misery Index”. But I will just list a few of the things that help me transform my thinking.

Talk-don’t keep things inside. If you don’t have someone to talk to-talk to yourself

Keep Busy–don’t sit idle and fret. Get out. There is fresh energy outside yourself.

laugher- great therapy. If you can’t laugh, see a show that can bring out laugher.

accept emotions-don’t bury them. They will get stuck in some deep dark grave in your heart.

At the end of the day, if I can change the way I am thinking about something, I can change the way I feel about it. It may not happen in one day. I may have to fake it till I make it, but I will get there.

sunrise

“Hope is like the sun, which, as we journey toward it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us.” Samuel Smiles

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/fake/

 

By the Light of the Silvery Moon

“For most people, we often marvel at the beauty of a sunrise or the magnificence of a full moon, but it is impossible to fathom the magnitude of the universe that surrounds us.” Richard H. Baker

Full moon

I love to see the full moon. Maybe it is because the moon creates a hole in the blackness. That very idea is inspiring to me. Sometimes life seems very dark. In the dark it is hard to find my way. It is difficult to see what lies ahead. In an effort to hurry through the dark place, I run. Running only leads to tripping. So, I have to be more patient. I have to inch along.

Then the full moon comes out! Things do not seem so dark. I still have to tread carefully, but I can see a step or two ahead of me. It wasn’t my eyes that gave me more sight. It was the universe. The moon reminds me that there is other help. There is more wisdom than I have alone. There is direction to be provided. The universe is bigger than me. It is good to be reminded of that.

“To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders.” Lao Tzu

Normal…where is that again?

I have such a strong urge to want life to be normal. For a day to be normal. But, what is ‘normal?’ Who gets to define that? I may want to define it, but in so doing, I could mess up my journey. I might create a beautiful straight, unobstructed path. I guess that could be okay. But I would miss all the adventure and awe of discovering what is around the corner. Of becoming who I am to become.

From time to time, we get to share a part of someone else’s journey. He/she will be the one to trek the entire path, but sometimes we get to walk awhile with them.

Such is my life right now. Walking along with someone I love. Right now, the path is rather dark and hard to see. We are inching along and moving forward. As I try to hold the torch to add illumination, I am inspired by what I see. A life full of courage and determination. A person who does not worry and fret, but who surges on with hope.

“We cannot hold a torch to light another’s path without brightening our own.” Ben Sweetland

Still Small Voice

“The one thing that you have that nobody else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision.” Neil Gaiman

Your ‘voice’. It sounds so simple, yet it can be so hard to discern what it is saying. I can usually hear my voice when I speak out loud. I recognize that as myself.

My trouble comes with that ‘still small voice within me’. Why does it whisper? Sometimes I swear it must be speaking in another language. “Speak up!” I yell. “Be clearer!” I complain.

I go to a quiet place. It does not get louder.

I go to a busy place. It does not get clearer.

How do we hear that mysterious ‘still small voice’? Who is that still small voice? Is it me, my soul? Is it a companion spirit from the spirit world attempting to guide me? Is it my own desires that try to influence my choices?

I am unsure. I am uncomfortable with unknowns. I like to have my ducks in a row and facts at my fingertips. But when my ‘still small voice’ begins to chatter, I do try and listen.

Carl Jung says, “Deep down below the surface of the average conscience a still, small voice says to us, something is out of tune.”

Sigmund Freud says, “The voice of the intellect is a soft one, but it does not rest until it has gained a hearing.”

I hear the chatter. I feel the soul vibrations. I sense I am to heed the words. My spirit is seeking. I am trying to tune the channel to ‘still small voice’ specials. Perhaps the secret is to slow down. Walk slower. Be more aware. That will be my goal for today. Today will lead to tomorrow. I trust after many tomorrows, I can incorporate the habit of slowing down, to listen to myself, and to enjoy the dialogue.

Disequilibrium

“Disequilibrium brings change.” I am not sure who said it first. My mother? My sister? I don’t remember. I just remember how true it seems and how often I say it.

I love the days that run smoothly. All the planets seem aligned and peacefully in place. I feel a harmony of my soul and my contribution to my environment. I feel a strong sense of purpose and direction. There seems to be a balance in my spiritual core.

Then there comes a day when things just don’t seem to go as well. It isn’t in the realm of mistakes or problems. It is deeper. My core is alert, not at peace. Things around me seem out of sorts. I may laugh and ask if the planets are out of alignment or if there is a full moon. My sense of direction is confused because I am confronted with many choices-all of which could bring on changes in my life and in the lives of others. Perhaps others around me are making those choices and those actions affect me; yet I cannot control those decisions.

My first instinct is to feel some concern. I sense that things are happening around me that I do not control. Perhaps I have to admit to being somewhat of a control freak. I will say I don’t think so, but my core will laugh at me. I do like to know what is going on, where I am headed and how I plan to get there. I am chagrined with ‘loose ends’. I have to spend a lot of energy letting those loose ends stay flying frantically around out there is space. I want so badly to tie them down. Tie them together. Tie them to a new item. Anything that has to do with closing the open loop.

But my second, more spiritual self, tells me to sit quietly. Let those loose ends fly. Do not be troubled by them. They are not my responsibility and the item that will meet that loose end is coming in due time.

Recently I have sensed great disequilibrium. All around me are new choices. Close to me are changes. Several people I love are preparing to pass on to their next journey.

While I don’t know the full meaning of why the disequilibrium is occurring; I have learned my lesson to listen. Be still and pay attention to what I am supposed to hear. Disequilibrium means change. The change will occur, I don’t make it happen. I just listen for the whisper of my journey’s direction and join it.

“Listen! When the lips are silent, the heart has a hundred tongues.” Rumi

 

Imagination- Wake Up!!

“The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination.”  Albert Einstein

I can go to school to learn. I can search the internet to gain knowledge. There are many ways I can obtain education. But how do I encourage, or learn to get in touch with, my imagination?

Dr Seuss said, “Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!”

Cute, but I can only think up what I have put into my head-generally facts or figures. How does one get outside of the realm of reality and into the mists of imagination which can birth creativity?

When I was a child, it seemed easier. We could play dress up and imagine being someone else.

imagination super girl I could be super woman and fly to the rescue.

It didn’t matter that I couldn’t fly. Or that I might not be strong enough to help someone in trouble. I could pretend. Pretend and imagine are closely related.

How does that get knocked out of us? We grow up and we forget to play, dress up, and imagine. Recently I purchased coloring books for adults. I wanted to do some stress reduction with coloring. I loved it as a child. Why did I stop? Adults aren’t supposed to color. We can only color when we are doing it with children. Who set that rule??

More importantly, I hope the coloring books will ignite something deeper in my soul. I hope it unleashes my creative spirit that was long ago put to rest. I have had to tackle so many difficult and demanding tasks in my life that I unleashed my pragmatic side and told my pretend playful imagination to go to sleep.  Well, now I want it to wake up. I want it to soar. I want to color outside the lines and let my feelings take wings.

imagination with colors