Behavioral impact is countless

“Man’s inhumanity to man makes countless thousands mourn!” Robert Burns

Countless. Our blog challenge for the day. Countless is often defined as being too numerous to count.

Very few things would be countless by my thoughts. If there is an item to count, given the patience and time, those items could be counted. Even the number of a human’s breath. At the time of their death, the breaths could be counted as there was a first breath and a last breath. My thoughts could be counted; again, because I would have a first thought and a last thought.

But the impact of our actions, could indeed be countless. People who have been affected by behavior could pass the resulted impact of that behavior on for generations. From continent to continent. Behaviors vary from cruelty to kindness. From selfishness to sacrifice.

Memorial day is a day to remember those who have passed from us. While those we loved may be gone, we feel their presence by the influence and impact they had on us. Many have lost loved ones to war. Some from hate crimes. Others from illness.

Some of us are who we are today because of some kindness which touched our lives. A person who touches another with an act of kindness may never realize the impact of that one act. There may be a beginning, but as the affect of that action continues, there may not be an end. Therefore, it is countless.

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” Aesop

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/countless/

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By the Light of the Silvery Moon

“For most people, we often marvel at the beauty of a sunrise or the magnificence of a full moon, but it is impossible to fathom the magnitude of the universe that surrounds us.” Richard H. Baker

Full moon

I love to see the full moon. Maybe it is because the moon creates a hole in the blackness. That very idea is inspiring to me. Sometimes life seems very dark. In the dark it is hard to find my way. It is difficult to see what lies ahead. In an effort to hurry through the dark place, I run. Running only leads to tripping. So, I have to be more patient. I have to inch along.

Then the full moon comes out! Things do not seem so dark. I still have to tread carefully, but I can see a step or two ahead of me. It wasn’t my eyes that gave me more sight. It was the universe. The moon reminds me that there is other help. There is more wisdom than I have alone. There is direction to be provided. The universe is bigger than me. It is good to be reminded of that.

“To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders.” Lao Tzu

Pro-Active Patience?

“Patience is not simply the ability to wait-it’s how we behave while we are waiting.” Joyce Meyer

“I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor.” Henry David Thoreau

Can we wait-be patient-yet maintain a conscious endeavor?  It seems that one or the other takes the lead. How do we balance the goal to be patient, yet have the wherewithal to maintain the conscious endeavor to make things happen?

While I am waiting for ‘something’ to occur, can I also be actively conducting activity to make it occur? I understand that I can actively do things to prepare myself when the ‘something’ occurs. But what if that ‘something’ doesn’t come for many days; or seemingly ever?  Can I hurry it along? hmmm. I guess that would make me impatient. Do I make follow-up phone calls, tweet, or otherwise engage in the ‘something’? hmmm. That would be pro-active, but not very patient. Do I sit back, drink my wine, and relax and wait for the ‘something’ to occur? hmmm. That would be patient, but not pro-active at all.

The complexities of daily living.

I suppose that I can make conscious endeavors to develop who I am as a person. I will proactively seek to be caring, sensitive, industrious, and dependable. Where I conduct these qualities, and with whom I share them, I suppose I will leave to destiny. Is that the compromise?

This blog has no concrete answer. I struggle with the balance of having patience-letting my journey unfold and being pro-active; where I chart the path for my journey to travel.

Oy vey.

Perspective and Perseverance

While visiting with my son last night, we were remembering his grandparents-my parents. It is such a wonderful thing to pass on new stories and to re-tell the old ones.

No matter the story, two prevalent themes come through when I think of my parents.

Mother-often said “there is good and bad in everything”. It was a very valuable lesson. Daily I encounter an experience that creates an emotional response. The way that I see the situation, frames the way I feel about it. I have the choice of perspective every morning.

“When you wake up every day, you have two choices. You can either be positive or negative; an optimist or a pessimist. I choose to be an optimist. It’s all a matter of perspective.” Harvey Mackay—although it could have been my mother, or myself for that matter.

Father-he was a little less verbal, so my lesson from him came from observation. I saw him slowly lose mom to dementia, and shortly thereafter be diagnosed with esophageal cancer. From diagnosis to passing was 2 short years. During those years, and while he went through surgery, and then chemo/radiation treatment, he continued to work on the log cabin he had started after mom passed away. I knew that he wanted to finish the cabin so that ‘his girls’ would not have to handle that task. He wanted to clear the land, so he continued to chop and saw wood. Every movement that he made brought him pain, yet he persevered to finish a goal.

“Patience and perspective have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish.” John Quincy Adams

I miss my parents. My spirit hugs theirs and daily I feel their influential presence.

Embrace or End the Relationship, the Choice is Yours

“The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.”  Victor Hugo

One thing most of us are not short of, is opinions. In general, I am in agreement with many of the opinions of my friends. That is one reason that we maintain a friendship. There are other people in my life that are probably not in harmony with everything that I believe. It is interesting to experience a dialogue with someone who comes from a different perspective.

One of two things generally happens.

1. We have an engaging experience. From a mutual respect we learn from each other. I have friends that are more conservative than I am. We would disagree on some religious practices. But, we love each other. We were there for each other when our daughters had surgery. We were there to hug through tears of sorrow. We shared history, and experiences. We see beyond the current difference and nurture the areas that we agree upon. We do that because, at the core, we love each other.

2. I am shunned or dismissed because of a difference. The singular difference is so great in the perspective of the former friend that the disagreement becomes insurmountable. The disagreement may have been over who should be president. It may be over watching certain movies. It may be over church attendance. Despite the volumes of areas that might be agreed upon, the critical focus is on the issue that we do not necessarily agree on. My marriage of 30 years to a minister basically fell into this category. Despite the fact that we shared a love of reading, travel, dancing, cooking, gardening, riding bikes and playing games-the fact that I did not want to attend the ultra conservative church services was enough to dissolve the marriage.

The danger to a relationship is when you hear the words, “if you loved me, you would do……”. “If you loved me, you would listen to me….” Those are hurtful words of control and manipulation. They represent conditional love. A refusal to agree to disagree. In many ways that attitude is egocentric and calloused.

“If my love is without sacrifice, it is selfish. Such a love is barter, for there is exchange of love and devotion in return for something. It is conditional love.”   Sadhu Vaswani

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/agree-to-disagree/

Oy Vey Ist Mir

“Sedulously eschew obfuscatory hyperverbosity and prolixity.” Roedy Green

What the hell does that mean? Deja Vu. I was there yesterday. I had asked a simple question. “Please provide for me the dates that go with visit 3, 4, and 5”. I am responsible for tracking those dates. We get paid by a sponsor for those dates.

Two days later, 8 emails, known and unknown people adding to the stream of computer discussions.

I still do not have an answer.

I think Green’s quote above is describing ‘obfuscate’. In other words- to go on and on, in circles, saying nothing, being unclear in a hope to bewilder the listener. If they do it long enough, they hope you will forget the original question.

Oy vey ist mir. Oh woe is me.

The transforming flow of emotions I experience when I deal with someone who obfuscates seems to follow a consistent pattern. Impatience-Anger-Resentment-Anger-Impatience-Anger-Resentment—-these roll along until I arrive at an exasperated frustration. I get spent out.

I suppose the obfuscater feels a little smile creep at the corners of their lips. I wonder if they embrace a sense of victory.

No matter. The fallen soldier gets back up. Needed a nice dinner, little wine, distracting movie and a good nights sleep. I think of George L Griggs saying, “Exasperation is the minds way of spinning its wheels until patience restores traction.”

The greater issue here is that I have responsibility without authority. Horrible place to be. You have visited there I am sure. It is not on Rick Steve’s 100 places to go before you die travel log.

So, when I am rested what do I do? I remind myself that this is not my circus, not my monkeys. I become a documentation specialist. I do what I can do, I let those who may have authority know, and then I have to let it go. I could be stubborn enough to push the question until I got the answer. In those cases, I might as well draw a circle on the wall of my office-at head level-walk up to it, as though it was my target, and bang my head against the wall. Right in the circle, right on target.

But what would I have done to myself? Obtained a headache and wasted my time. So I focus on what I can do. Where I can make a difference.

“You’ve done it before and you can do it now.  See the positive possibilities. Redirect the substantial energy of your frustration and turn it into positive, effective, unstoppable determination.” Ralph Marston

Patience-is it really all that necessary?

Must patience be a virtue?! I am so pro-active that waiting for something can take me over my acceptable frustration threshold. I suppose being pro-active is good. It can be helpful. It can also be devastating if I do not allow myself to wait for the right time.

We have broken ground for the new addition. There is a huge hole out my kitchen door that will be the stair case to the cellar. The staircase sits in the middle of what will be the new addition. The entire back yard has lost it’s green grass and graveled curved path. It now hosts piles of dirt which were dug up to create the huge hole. Concrete blocks are stacked in several locations. Two pyramids of pebbles and stones stand tall at the back of the yard. Cement trucks have compacted the ground. The yard shifts from dusty trails to muddy sludge.

cellar stair vault

This would be easier to take if it were only for a few days. I would like a team of young bucks to come and get that hole shaped into the cement slab I so richly deserve. That does cost money. My husband is a brilliant engineer and drew the plans and is totally capable of doing the job. One man, two arms. So…I wait and I try to be patient.

Part of my trouble is my pro-active planning. In my mind, I have moved beyond the open pit in the back yard. That will get done. I have moved on to concerns of how we will get the two story addition built. Remember, one man with two arms. He says don’t worry. It will get done.

So I worry. I stew. I try to visualize, how in the hell is he going to do that?!

Then I remember the workshop. He had to build it in one spot and move it to another. He built it on top of PVC tubing so that it could be rolled into place. Really? Rolled into place? I had never heard of such a thing. I could not imagine it. I worried. I stewed. I waited for my turn to say, ‘I knew this wouldn’t work’. But it did work! He and a friend used a truck and a chain and they moved that workshop into place.

Workshop pulling it Workshop finished

I love the cottage workshop. I will love the new addition. I remind myself that I could not imagine how the workshop would get done. But it did. So now, I remind myself that the addition will get done too. I need to be patient. I need to trust the plan and enjoy the journey.

“Have patience. All things are difficult before they become easy.”  Saadi

“He that can have patience can have what he will.” Benjamin Franklin