You Matter

“No matter how busy you are, you must take time to make the other person feel important.” Mary Kay Ash

We live in busy days. Even in retirement, down in sunny Florida, I like to grin and say, ‘I am very busy, so very busy today.’ That business may be reading, swimming, napping, walking-any number of activities that I originate and execute. Some say, it is my turn after living decades of rushed schedules and demanding deadlines. Always at the ready.

When I was young, I was a Beauty Consultant for Mary Kay Cosmetics. I met Mary Kay at a conference in Texas. She was a very gracious woman and when I was with her, she looked only at me. The glint in her eye and her smile were in harmony. She made me feel special and important.

Around that same time, I was in the habit of reading something inspirational in the mornings. I can’t remember the little book, or the title of the day’s thought, or who wrote it. But I remember the story.

The story was about people we see as we go about our day. The bottom line of the story was to imagine that every person has an invisible sign around their neck that says, ‘Please, help me feel important.’

That image imbedded itself into my heart. The feeling Mary Kay gave to me only enhanced that concept. I began to make it my goal to encourage others, and even if my interaction with them is brief, that some how, I might have provided some sense to them that they are important. That they matter.

“A person’s a person, no matter how small.” Dr. Seuss

“There’s a lot of people

Peaceful Silence

“Even in the most beautiful music there are some silences, which are there so we can witness the importance of silence.” Andrea Bocelli

We live in a loud world. Music. Television. iPad. 24-7 coverage from any electronic device. I find I have to consciously take time to find solitude. Not necessarily to discover a quite room. A room can be empty-other than myself-but it is screaming at me: mop the floor! start dinner! dust my surface!

America is in the final days of a presidential election. Not only do I have to contend with barrage of chatter, some of that chatter tries to tell me what to do, how to act and where to go. Solitude cries for my company.

I am reminded today, to seek opportunities for solitude-to be restored. Let my blood pressure return to normal and my thoughts to return to peace.

“Silence is refreshment for the soul.” Wynonna Judd

Garden in my Mind

“Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.” Albert Einstein

Sometimes I grieve the loss of my innocent, child-like perspective. Age and experience cracked my protective bubble of naivety. If I’m not vigilant, cynicism creeps into the garden of my mind like a weed. It can choke out an opportunity for a beautiful flower of thought or reaction to grow.

How does one fight against those negative, troubling thoughts? Other people, I assume, fight the same battle against the victory of the cynical stream of pessimism that can flood out a tender thought or action.

Perhaps one way, is to turn our focus from ourselves, or others and onto the wonder and nurture of nature. Nature can be violent, magnificent, and inspiring. It is always honest. I think that is why I receive so much restoration when I am in nature.

Last year, we visited The Key West Butterfly and Nature Conservatory in Key West, Florida. The Conservatory was full of beautiful flowers, butterflies, and birds. Melodic music played in the background. I thought I could stay there forever. Alas, we had to leave. But those smells, sights, and sounds remain in my mind. That visit added to the ‘garden of my mind’ that I visit often.

People, politics, pandemics, and economics can pull us into despair.

Today, I am inspired by some of Albert Einstein’s thoughts. They are worth repeating.

“Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and it’s beauty.” Albert Einstein

Safe Place

“Man learns through experience, and the spiritual path is full of different kinds of experiences. He will encounter many difficulties and obstacles, and they are the very experiences he needs to encourage and complete the cleansing process.” Sai Baba

There seems to be a common temptation to help others along life’s path. One might feel an eagerness to share what one knows, right? I ask myself, actually fairly frequently, when does ‘sharing’ become ‘bossing’ and, or, ‘directing’ others? There seems to be a very fine line between the two.

Perhaps ‘sharing’ is a response to a request for information or direction.

Perhaps ‘directing’ is pro-offering the information without a request.

Could it be that simple?

There have been many times in my life when I felt a suffering, or a broken heart, as I observed someone I loved struggle with an issue in life. I wanted to rush right in there, and let my loved one know how the issue should be handled. If I didn’t come up with the plan to direct another, there was always a person nearby who reminded me of that duty. Somehow, now making me feel guilty if I didn’t intervene and interject what that person should (the word I do not like!) do.

But, I remind myself-I do not know their life path. I cannot be aware of all that the person I am concerned about is supposed to learn in life. In fact, I could completely mis-direct by pro-offering my direction.

It does take patience and faith though. Mixed with kindness, support, encouragement, and tolerance. There could be a lot of stumbling along the way. I may not be able to prohibit the stumble, but one thing I can do is create a safe place to land. A safe place to find someone they can trust. A safe place to land when they fall.

“….choosing kindness is being more mindful about it, letting go of impatience and intolerance along the way.” Daniel Lubetsky

Gaze at the Present

“Expecting is the greatest impediment to living. In anticipation of tomorrow, it loses today.” Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Anticipation is an interesting noun. It is one word, but can promote vastly opposing emotions. Anticipation can bring hope. Tomorrow will be better. It can bring the warmth of nostalgia as we look forward to a visit with loved ones.

Anticipation can also bring dread. A worry over a decision that may bring negative consequences. It can bring sadness as we learn of a loved one’s terminal diagnosis.

What is one to do? I don’t want to give up hope– “Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul-and sings the tunes without the words-and never stops at all.” so beautifully said by Emily Dickenson.

I also do not want to dread potential-or perhaps actual – negative events that might, or will, come into my life one day.

I am once again, reminded to focus on the present. Glancing with anticipation can provide some pleasure, or perhaps the momentary sense of dread may be enough to make me cautious. But it would behoove me to GAZE at the present. A glance may occur before I can stop myself. Gazing is an act of the will. I can choose to move my glance into a gaze.

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” Buddha

 

 

 

Kindness – Don’t miss your chance

“You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Recently I was walking along a beach looking for shells. I walked into the water where the water’s edge washed over my feet.  I had to exert considerable effort to maintain my balance with every reach of the waves. Bending over to reach those precious treasures was a challenge-if I pulled back too late, the wave threatened my balance.  My sun hat was securely protecting my face and shoulders.

It was nearing sunset and lovers were cuddled together on the beach anticipating their life of romance and adventure. Families with children were frolicking in the water, a lifetime of experiences awaiting them. As I walked the beach, I reflected on the wonderful life I have had and the years ahead of me. The past is known, but the future is not so clear. I am reaching the age when it is no longer my parent’s friends who are passing, they are mine.

As I walked along, a young boy came running up to me with his arm extended. I had seen him playing in the water with someone who might have been his father. His outstretched hand held a perfect shell. The shell was intact, with no breakage. What a find!

The greater treasure was his kind action. He must have seen me looking for shells. Just before he came up to me, I had reached into the water to retrieve what I thought was a perfect shell, but missed it. I gave the old ‘damn it’ fist swing and moved on. Perhaps he saw that. Perhaps he saw someone who reminded him of his grandma. Whatever inspired him to bring me this flawless shell was birthed from kindness. I will treasure that shell as it means more to me than the ocean creature it once held. It means kindness from one generation to another.

“There’s no use doing a kindness if you do it a day too late.” Charles Kingsley

                                               

 

Shouldering the Shame of Should

Every minute should be….

We should not give up…

A woman should be…..

A relationship should be…

You should fear….

I couldn’t come up with one quote this morning on this often used, directive, word: Should.

I don’t care for this word. To me, it carries the sense of duty-what is correct (by whose definition?) and often used to criticize an action, or a lack of one. “He should have gone sooner.” “She should have worn a jacket.” Perhaps this word needs to be placed in the ‘I am not going to use this word anymore’ pile.

Why place a feeling of shame on yourself, or on anyone else? Should, to me, carries a sense of shame. If you do what you should, you feel good about yourself. If you don’t do it, you are ashamed of yourself.

If we take the shame of ‘should‘ away, we could say: “I need to go to the store to get milk.” If I don’t go, I am not ashamed of myself, I just won’t have milk for dinner. If a person doesn’t wear a jacket and it rains, he/she will get wet.

Should is easy to creep into a vocabulary. I  had to delete several sentences as I had the word should included. I should get better at this! See…easy to impose what is ‘correct’ onto myself.

May your day be filled with possibilities of what you want to do, or need to do, but not what you should do!

“The first step toward change is awareness. The second is acceptance.”   Nathaniel Branden

Don’t Rush to Blame

“Great leaders don’t rush to blame. They instinctively look for solutions.”  Nina Easton

Unplanned interruptions are annoying. Unnecessary complications are upsetting. During the course of a busy day, any number of these undesired occurrences can wreck havoc on otherwise engaging plans. When they barge into our lives we can react in a variety of ways:

a. We can fume and pout, stomp and complain.  However, once we stop our ranting we still have the problem.

b. We can blame others. Call people onto the carpet. Dole out disciplines. However, at the end of the confrontation we still have the problem.

c. We can assess the problem. Plan a course of action and implement the proposed solution. We will still need to review how the problem came to be and what consequential actions may be required so that the problem does not re-occur. But at the end of the problem solving, we no longer have the problem.

Efficiency is part of my reason to forgo the ranting, complaining and blaming. It is just a waste of energy. Energy is so precious.

“Most people spend more time and energy going around problems than in trying to solve them.”  Henry Ford

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/rush/

Sing, Sing a Song…

“On the good days, my mother would haul out the ukulele and we’d sit around the kitchen table-it was a cardboard table with a linoleum top-and sing.”  Carol Burnett

Carol Burnett is an actress who has brought me many rounds of riotous laughter. However, her life was not easy. She inspires me.

I understand, and generally accept, that the way I feel about my day, is fueled by the way I see my day-my perspective. Some days perspective can be a little on the pessimistic side. I have discovered a pretty sure-fire way to turn that around—MUSIC.

The power of music never ceases to surround me in a symphony of awe. It soothes the soul, sounds the march, releases my tears, and clears my focus.

Listen for your music. It is always available. Sometimes we just need to shut out the noise to hear the song.

“Music is the strongest form of magic.”  Marilyn Manson

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/haul/

 

Burn Out-Must I?

“Thing is, I don’t really like free time. People are always warning me that I’m going to burn out. But the truth is, the only thing that tires me out is hearing people tell me that.”  Michael Strahan

During a busy, demanding time in my life I created the poem below. Sometimes I recognize the warning signs to back off and relax. The quest to have a balanced life screams from inside. However, I do not always respond to that cry.

Frank A. Clark said, “A man’s conscience, like a warning line on the highway, tells him what he shouldn’t do-but it does not keep him from doing it.”

Spring is trying to come to Ohio. Winter dormancy is trying to shake itself free. My desire is to open the windows, clean every inch, dust away all cobwebs. Out with the old, in with the new! My history-which often repeats itself-is to work till I drop. But I am going to try and obtain a balance. That is a new skill. New skills take time to develop. I am going to try and listen to that cry within me to strike a balance. I don’t want to lose the fire that is me.

“Any form of over-indulgence creates within the body warning signs of destruction.”  Mother Angelica

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/warning/