Departures

“There is a time for departure, even when there’s no certain place to go.” Tennessee Williams

My sisters have been visiting me and will depart today to return to their homes. Departures can be sad. Today, they each anticipate departing back to their homes and loved ones. This is a planned departure.

I am reminded of a couple times in my life when departures were not necessarily planned.

A friend used to say, if you are going the wrong way-TURN! You may not know where it takes you, but it will at least not be on the known wrong route! I was reminded of his wisdom when I read the above Tennessee Williams quote.

An unplanned departure is like walking through a peaceful meadow. Flowers swaying, fresh air to breath and sun at your back. Suddenly, your next step takes you down a deep hole. At first you are frightened and it is dark and you can’t see your way. You feel around you to get some sort of bearing. You creep along on your hands and knees, feeling all along the way to protect from a further fall or injury. You think perhaps you are trapped in a cave. Your breath quickens and your pulse races. You never expected to be in a place like this. You were happy and content – or so you thought.

As you creep along, you notice a very small light. You move toward that direction, and you realize that you are not in a cave, but in a tunnel! You will be able to escape!

I have taken such a journey. I decided that if I had to be yanked out of my life as I knew it, and had an opportunity to survive it, I would come out of my ‘tunnel’ new. If I came out the same way I entered, what did it benefit me?

“An involuntary return to the point of departure is, without a doubt, the most disturbing of all journeys.” Iain Sinclair

Gaze at the Present

“Expecting is the greatest impediment to living. In anticipation of tomorrow, it loses today.” Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Anticipation is an interesting noun. It is one word, but can promote vastly opposing emotions. Anticipation can bring hope. Tomorrow will be better. It can bring the warmth of nostalgia as we look forward to a visit with loved ones.

Anticipation can also bring dread. A worry over a decision that may bring negative consequences. It can bring sadness as we learn of a loved one’s terminal diagnosis.

What is one to do? I don’t want to give up hope– “Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul-and sings the tunes without the words-and never stops at all.” so beautifully said by Emily Dickenson.

I also do not want to dread potential-or perhaps actual – negative events that might, or will, come into my life one day.

I am once again, reminded to focus on the present. Glancing with anticipation can provide some pleasure, or perhaps the momentary sense of dread may be enough to make me cautious. But it would behoove me to GAZE at the present. A glance may occur before I can stop myself. Gazing is an act of the will. I can choose to move my glance into a gaze.

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” Buddha

 

 

 

Kindness – Don’t miss your chance

“You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Recently I was walking along a beach looking for shells. I walked into the water where the water’s edge washed over my feet.  I had to exert considerable effort to maintain my balance with every reach of the waves. Bending over to reach those precious treasures was a challenge-if I pulled back too late, the wave threatened my balance.  My sun hat was securely protecting my face and shoulders.

It was nearing sunset and lovers were cuddled together on the beach anticipating their life of romance and adventure. Families with children were frolicking in the water, a lifetime of experiences awaiting them. As I walked the beach, I reflected on the wonderful life I have had and the years ahead of me. The past is known, but the future is not so clear. I am reaching the age when it is no longer my parent’s friends who are passing, they are mine.

As I walked along, a young boy came running up to me with his arm extended. I had seen him playing in the water with someone who might have been his father. His outstretched hand held a perfect shell. The shell was intact, with no breakage. What a find!

The greater treasure was his kind action. He must have seen me looking for shells. Just before he came up to me, I had reached into the water to retrieve what I thought was a perfect shell, but missed it. I gave the old ‘damn it’ fist swing and moved on. Perhaps he saw that. Perhaps he saw someone who reminded him of his grandma. Whatever inspired him to bring me this flawless shell was birthed from kindness. I will treasure that shell as it means more to me than the ocean creature it once held. It means kindness from one generation to another.

“There’s no use doing a kindness if you do it a day too late.” Charles Kingsley

                                               

 

Sing, Sing a Song…

“On the good days, my mother would haul out the ukulele and we’d sit around the kitchen table-it was a cardboard table with a linoleum top-and sing.”  Carol Burnett

Carol Burnett is an actress who has brought me many rounds of riotous laughter. However, her life was not easy. She inspires me.

I understand, and generally accept, that the way I feel about my day, is fueled by the way I see my day-my perspective. Some days perspective can be a little on the pessimistic side. I have discovered a pretty sure-fire way to turn that around—MUSIC.

The power of music never ceases to surround me in a symphony of awe. It soothes the soul, sounds the march, releases my tears, and clears my focus.

Listen for your music. It is always available. Sometimes we just need to shut out the noise to hear the song.

“Music is the strongest form of magic.”  Marilyn Manson

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/haul/

 

Mystery of Elitism

“It has always been a mystery to me how men can feel themselves honored by the humiliation of his fellow beings.” Mahatma Gandhi

My husband often quotes Max Hermann “If you compare yourself to others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.”  My father often said, “It takes a lot of different people to make a world.” I grew up with the concept that we are all similar-regardless of our race, ethnic background or financial standing. Yet, as I entered the adult realm I realized that not everyone shared my sentiment. I was saddened to see that there is discrimination, bigotry, and even hatred from one group of people to another. That is a mystery to me as well.

People argue over what language should be taught in schools, or placed in public settings. I say let’s use the language of kindness.

“Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” Mark Twain

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/mystery

 

Sail with the Phase

“Only when your consciousness is totally focused on the  moment you are in, can you receive whatever gift, lesson, or delight that moment has to offer.” Barbara De Angelis

A life is full of many moments. Some I love, some I tend to resent. I remember when my children were young. Somedays would be more taxing than others. Often during those times a friend would say, ‘they are going through a phase, they will move into another soon.’

I gave that a lot of thought. If I hurried them through every phase, the end result would be to rush their lives. Lives are so short anyway. Why would I rush a life away?

Today, my children are adults. My parents have passed away. Illness and disease have come and gone. And I have asked myself again-would I wish away any of these phases of suffering?

My answer is, no. All the moments have made me who I am today. The good and delightful, and the sad and sorrowful. They comprise me.

Phases do come and go. Some are short, and some seem as though they will never pass. My goal is to keep moving through the phases. Embrace what I can and try not to get stuck in any one place.

“To reach a port, we must sail – sail, not tie at anchor, sail not drift.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/phase/

Only Once

“Expectation is the mother of all frustration.” Antonio Banderas

I have an apparently peculiar quirk. I think that I should only have to do something once. Say it once. Touch it once. File it once. Isn’t that the teaching of efficiency? Oh dear…I have another quirk-I think things should be efficient.

No wonder some days annoy me. My expectations that things should run efficiently and smoothly are adversely affecting my blood pressure. Ah…a splash of insight. Many of the above expectations occur in an office and are impacted by other people; other people who are messing with my mode of efficiency.

Wait. That still admits I have an expectation of efficiency. Perhaps I could change that to a desire for efficiency, but realize that a multitude of events, and people, will complicate my hope. I do get paid for that complication. However, it does slow things down. Damn…another expectation-that I will get a lot of things done in a day. Some days it takes all day to get someone to get labs done right, packaged correctly, picked up and processed as they should be. How could that take so long? I don’t know, but some days it does.

What am I left with? Go to work, don’t expect people to be competent,  an office to be efficient, or to get much done. There! My frustration could vanish.

But who would I become?

Best I keep my quirks, and learn how to manage letting go of my expectations of others. Perhaps that was the mother of invention to the happy hour/cocktail after a day’s work!

 

I’m Crazy

Patsy Cline–I’m crazy…worry, why do I let myself worry….

Music holds such power. It can set a mood, it can soothe a soul. It can excite and it can add courage as men march to war.

Funny thing about a song, the whole song may be irrelevant to a situation, but there can still be a connection.

Patsy Cline sings ‘I’m Crazy” as a sad realization that she has loved the wrong person. I don’t share that sense. I feel that I love my soul mate who comforts and creates more enjoyment of life. Yet…her words, “I’m Crazy” come out of my mouth frequently. It can be for any number of reasons. I’m crazy to go to the store in the rain. I’m crazy to start a new career late in life.

Today, I am reminded of the other lyrics in this song. “worry, why do I let myself worry?” There is no help in worry. Worry is a waste of energy. Worry drums up all the unquantified potential troubles that may never have to be addressed.

“Worry is the interest paid by those who borrow trouble.” George Washington

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/this-is-your-song/

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/this-is-your-song/

By the Light of the Silvery Moon

“For most people, we often marvel at the beauty of a sunrise or the magnificence of a full moon, but it is impossible to fathom the magnitude of the universe that surrounds us.” Richard H. Baker

I love to see the full moon. Maybe it is because the moon creates a hole in the blackness. That very idea is inspiring to me. Sometimes life seems very dark. In the dark it is hard to find my way. It is difficult to see what lies ahead. In an effort to hurry through the dark place, I run. Running only leads to tripping. So, I have to be more patient. I have to inch along.

Then the full moon comes out! Things do not seem so dark. I still have to tread carefully, but I can see a step or two ahead of me. It wasn’t my eyes that gave me more sight. It was the universe. The moon reminds me that there is other help. There is more wisdom than I have alone. There is direction to be provided. The universe is bigger than me. It is good to be reminded of that.

“To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders.” Lao Tzu

Normal…where is that again?

I have such a strong urge to want life to be normal. For a day to be normal. But, what is ‘normal?’ Who gets to define that? I may want to define it, but in so doing, I could mess up my journey. I might create a beautiful straight, unobstructed path. I guess that could be okay. But I would miss all the adventure and awe of discovering what is around the corner. Of becoming who I am to become.

From time to time, we get to share a part of someone else’s journey. He/she will be the one to trek the entire path, but sometimes we get to walk awhile with them.

Such is my life right now. Walking along with someone I love. Right now, the path is rather dark and hard to see. We are inching along and moving forward. As I try to hold the torch to add illumination, I am inspired by what I see. A life full of courage and determination. A person who does not worry and fret, but who surges on with hope.

“We cannot hold a torch to light another’s path without brightening our own.” Ben Sweetland