Little Bits

“The first and worst of all frauds is to cheat one’s self.” Pearl Bailey

“This above all: to thine own self be true.” William Shakespeare

These are familiar sayings that we often recall when we are making a decision. We try and find our core which we believe will speak to us and provide us guidance as to a decision.

But does our ‘core’ change? Do experiences change who we are and therefore how we might decide? We are rehabbing a 200 year old home. As we work on the house, I often wonder how the house was originally arranged.  The internal walls have changed many times. Even the external walls have been altered in a few places. But the ‘core footprint’ has remained the same.

Perhaps it is that way with people. The basic core of who we are-kind, compassionate, thoughtful, truthful-remains unaltered as we journey through our lives. Yet, some have experienced hardships and become bitter, cynical, and even hateful. How does that happen? To which self are we to be true. The one pre-hardship? The innocent and naive person? Sometimes I mourn the loss of my innocence and naiveté. Or the new core honed by hardship? Honing can provide new skills-patience, perseverance and tolerance.

Truth, as we understand it, is also tricky. What we once knew-with so much certainty that lives were taken for questioning the truth (such as the world is flat, the sun revolved around the earth…many individuals were  tortured who dared to question that truth of the day). As we grow, learn, and explore our life we may alter our perspective. Is that being a fraud to ourselves? or is that becoming new and fresh again?

“I am a fraud. I have cobbled together my personality from hundreds of little bits. I am simultaneously the most genuine and the most artificial person you will ever meet.”  Sebastian Horsley

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/fraud/

 

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Sail with the Phase

“Only when your consciousness is totally focused on the  moment you are in, can you receive whatever gift, lesson, or delight that moment has to offer.” Barbara De Angelis

A life is full of many moments. Some I love, some I tend to resent. I remember when my children were young. Somedays would be more taxing than others. Often during those times a friend would say, ‘they are going through a phase, they will move into another soon.’

I gave that a lot of thought. If I hurried them through every phase, the end result would be to rush their lives. Lives are so short anyway. Why would I rush a life away?

Today, my children are adults. My parents have passed away. Illness and disease have come and gone. And I have asked myself again-would I wish away any of these phases of suffering?

My answer is, no. All the moments have made me who I am today. The good and delightful, and the sad and sorrowful. They comprise me.

Phases do come and go. Some are short, and some seem as though they will never pass. My goal is to keep moving through the phases. Embrace what I can and try not to get stuck in any one place.

“To reach a port, we must sail – sail, not tie at anchor, sail not drift.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/phase/

Mindful Journeys

“Sometimes a journey takes us to a place we have never been before. That place may not be on a map. It may be in our hearts.” Faye Hager

Recently, I have discovered a new type of journey. It does not involve going to a physical destination. I may not even move from my spot where I am standing. Actually, I may be pacing, or I may be rocking-I seldom just stand. It is an emotional journey. I believe emotions are linked to our minds, so it is a mental/spiritual/emotional journey. And that adventure all takes place deep inside of me: me-myself-and I. We have to find our way through it.

I wish I could tell you THE magic formula. I can’t. But I can share some things that help me move from:

anger—-to forgiveness

sadness—to hope

grief—-to acceptance

A book can be written on the process-and may be…perhaps I will call it the “Misery Index”. But I will just list a few of the things that help me transform my thinking.

Talk-don’t keep things inside. If you don’t have someone to talk to-talk to yourself

Keep Busy–don’t sit idle and fret. Get out. There is fresh energy outside yourself.

laugher- great therapy. If you can’t laugh, see a show that can bring out laugher.

accept emotions-don’t bury them. They will get stuck in some deep dark grave in your heart.

At the end of the day, if I can change the way I am thinking about something, I can change the way I feel about it. It may not happen in one day. I may have to fake it till I make it, but I will get there.

sunrise

“Hope is like the sun, which, as we journey toward it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us.” Samuel Smiles

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/fake/

 

By the Light of the Silvery Moon

“For most people, we often marvel at the beauty of a sunrise or the magnificence of a full moon, but it is impossible to fathom the magnitude of the universe that surrounds us.” Richard H. Baker

Full moon

I love to see the full moon. Maybe it is because the moon creates a hole in the blackness. That very idea is inspiring to me. Sometimes life seems very dark. In the dark it is hard to find my way. It is difficult to see what lies ahead. In an effort to hurry through the dark place, I run. Running only leads to tripping. So, I have to be more patient. I have to inch along.

Then the full moon comes out! Things do not seem so dark. I still have to tread carefully, but I can see a step or two ahead of me. It wasn’t my eyes that gave me more sight. It was the universe. The moon reminds me that there is other help. There is more wisdom than I have alone. There is direction to be provided. The universe is bigger than me. It is good to be reminded of that.

“To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders.” Lao Tzu

Normal…where is that again?

I have such a strong urge to want life to be normal. For a day to be normal. But, what is ‘normal?’ Who gets to define that? I may want to define it, but in so doing, I could mess up my journey. I might create a beautiful straight, unobstructed path. I guess that could be okay. But I would miss all the adventure and awe of discovering what is around the corner. Of becoming who I am to become.

From time to time, we get to share a part of someone else’s journey. He/she will be the one to trek the entire path, but sometimes we get to walk awhile with them.

Such is my life right now. Walking along with someone I love. Right now, the path is rather dark and hard to see. We are inching along and moving forward. As I try to hold the torch to add illumination, I am inspired by what I see. A life full of courage and determination. A person who does not worry and fret, but who surges on with hope.

“We cannot hold a torch to light another’s path without brightening our own.” Ben Sweetland

Pro-Active Patience?

“Patience is not simply the ability to wait-it’s how we behave while we are waiting.” Joyce Meyer

“I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor.” Henry David Thoreau

Can we wait-be patient-yet maintain a conscious endeavor?  It seems that one or the other takes the lead. How do we balance the goal to be patient, yet have the wherewithal to maintain the conscious endeavor to make things happen?

While I am waiting for ‘something’ to occur, can I also be actively conducting activity to make it occur? I understand that I can actively do things to prepare myself when the ‘something’ occurs. But what if that ‘something’ doesn’t come for many days; or seemingly ever?  Can I hurry it along? hmmm. I guess that would make me impatient. Do I make follow-up phone calls, tweet, or otherwise engage in the ‘something’? hmmm. That would be pro-active, but not very patient. Do I sit back, drink my wine, and relax and wait for the ‘something’ to occur? hmmm. That would be patient, but not pro-active at all.

The complexities of daily living.

I suppose that I can make conscious endeavors to develop who I am as a person. I will proactively seek to be caring, sensitive, industrious, and dependable. Where I conduct these qualities, and with whom I share them, I suppose I will leave to destiny. Is that the compromise?

This blog has no concrete answer. I struggle with the balance of having patience-letting my journey unfold and being pro-active; where I chart the path for my journey to travel.

Oy vey.

Still Small Voice

“The one thing that you have that nobody else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision.” Neil Gaiman

Your ‘voice’. It sounds so simple, yet it can be so hard to discern what it is saying. I can usually hear my voice when I speak out loud. I recognize that as myself.

My trouble comes with that ‘still small voice within me’. Why does it whisper? Sometimes I swear it must be speaking in another language. “Speak up!” I yell. “Be clearer!” I complain.

I go to a quiet place. It does not get louder.

I go to a busy place. It does not get clearer.

How do we hear that mysterious ‘still small voice’? Who is that still small voice? Is it me, my soul? Is it a companion spirit from the spirit world attempting to guide me? Is it my own desires that try to influence my choices?

I am unsure. I am uncomfortable with unknowns. I like to have my ducks in a row and facts at my fingertips. But when my ‘still small voice’ begins to chatter, I do try and listen.

Carl Jung says, “Deep down below the surface of the average conscience a still, small voice says to us, something is out of tune.”

Sigmund Freud says, “The voice of the intellect is a soft one, but it does not rest until it has gained a hearing.”

I hear the chatter. I feel the soul vibrations. I sense I am to heed the words. My spirit is seeking. I am trying to tune the channel to ‘still small voice’ specials. Perhaps the secret is to slow down. Walk slower. Be more aware. That will be my goal for today. Today will lead to tomorrow. I trust after many tomorrows, I can incorporate the habit of slowing down, to listen to myself, and to enjoy the dialogue.